The Missing Piece That May Soothe Your Perfectionism

Soothing Perfectionism


From a very young age, we are conditioned to please and to get it right.

Very seldom are our mistakes, hiccups, and detours off the traditional path, celebrated. As we go through life and experience the backlash of not getting it right, I think it does something to us.

It has us believe that if we mess up, fall, or if we are not up to par, then we are unwanted, unloved, and unworthy.

That belief, then has us get into a "perfectionist" mindset.

We set standards for ourselves that are almost impossible to reach. We work harder almost to the point of burnout. We go after goals and things that do not breathe life into us, and it’s all because we are afraid to disappoint other people.

We are afraid to "not get it right" because we already know what “not getting it right” will mean.

  • It means disappointing our loved ones.
  • It means being blacklisted from the “popular groups”. 
  • It means (in our minds), going at it alone and not being celebrated.

Because of that perfectionist mindset and the beliefs you may hold about not getting it right, anytime something new tries to spring up from you, it’s stuffed down because it doesn’t mesh with the way you believe is acceptable.

That dream that once gave you joy, turns into nothing more than just going through the motions to try and satisfy those who you feel are pressuring you to succeed.

You try harder, but nothing is ever good enough.

Nothing ever fits.

Nothing ever feels quite right, because you’re working from a space that says, “I can’t mess up, I have to please others, I can’t get it wrong.”

How can you see your true beauty like that?

I heard a quote the other day that I want to share with you.

I believe it’s the piece that a lot of you have been looking for. It’s the piece, that when I heard it, brought tears to my eyes.

You have permission to fall and fail and break wide open, and I will love you no matter what.
— @spiritedyogi on Instagram

That quote was posted on the Instagram feed of @spiritedyogi, and I thought to myself, “wow, that quote came straight from the soul.”

It’s true, you may be scrutinized for messing up, by your friends and family.

You may be fired from your job, for not performing according to their standards.

You may have the people in “popular groups” turn their noses up to you because you don’t fit into the right mold.

So you form the belief that you have to be perfect in order to fit in, be loved, or be acknowledged.

I've been through it, and I know that no one wants to feel like an outcast.

But if there’s anything that I want you to take from this article, it’s that…

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, and you don't need to be fixed.

You have permission to fall and fail and break wide open, and your soul will love you anyway. (Tweet This)

I know that most of us are not taught that, but the most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself.

The missing piece is to give yourself permission to be yourself in all your glory, with the knowing that if you don't get it perfect - you will still be alright, you are still loved, you are still worthy. Your soul, loves you anyway. Even if you don't get it perfect all the time.

Embody that truth.

Celebrate yourself everyday (even with your flaws and challenges), and let the very high, unreachable standard of perfection, gracefully fall away. Your rawness, vulnerability, and you living from the heart is what this life is all about. 

Give yourself permission to fall, fail, and to not get it perfect. It doesn’t take away from who you really are.

When you allow yourself to experience and grow from a nonjudgemental perspective, you can then step back and really see how beautiful you are. You can see how much you've transformed.

The real permission and validation that you're looking for is - that which comes from yourself.

Once you see yourself in that higher light, and let go of the idea that you’re not doing it right, you can see how far you’ve really come. You can see how you've flourished.

It's about progress, not perfection

Give yourself credit for sharing yourself with the world, and for waking up everyday with the intention of being a better person. It is enough.

Live Well & Keep Creating!

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Photo Credit: | @_vickyreyes